Survive or Thrive?

The power of words really astonish me. Growing up I used to hear others say how words carry power, they form your beliefs, and that forms your actions.

I witnessed it myself for the first time when I was about 13 years old. My mother, brother and I were living with my uncle in Canada. We didn’t have a lot of money, my mom was doing the best she could, but we were broke. As most poor families, we lived with any family member who had the room. This time it was with my uncle in his basement. He was a drunk. Not a happy one, a rude obnoxious one. You know, the kind you dread when he shows up at family holiday dinners. One night, he was drinking, and started an argument with my mom. Somehow I got in the line of fire, and he yelled at me words that pierced through my heart; his words were like venom. He called me names; he said things to me that were so hurtful, which of course only fueled the fight between my mom and him more. .His words pummeled me harder than any fist, any spanking, any injury, or any other physical contact I have ever experienced. If you ever thought verbal abuse existed, it definitely does and I went through it with him. I cried that night, a deep sobbing, hurtful slobbering cry. I was so hurt that he saw me and believe I was in the context of the words he said. My loving uncle was so cruel, I thought he loved me. How it must have pained him to hate me so much. What did I ever do to him? How could I be that person he was describing?

The next morning after he sobered up, he was completely embarrassed. He regretted what he said, but it was too late. The damage was done. We moved out that day, and our relationship has never recovered. That was over 20 years ago. Sure I forgave him. But I never forgot how I felt that moment his words hit me. Do words have power? You betcha. What I hear can change my day in a moment. That goes for what I say (since you hear yourself talk).

I don’t think about that day with my uncle very often, as you can imagine, it was painful for me. But this week, I heard two separate messages about your beliefs and how your beliefs can truly shape your life. I guess having two completely different, unrelated people tell me this message; it was time to perk up my ears.

If you think you are surviving something, then you consider yourself a survivor. If you are a survivor, then you became the victim of something. Becoming a victim of something means that you were powerless over something that was done to you. Follow me here. If you tell someone how the gas prices are out of control, you’re just making ends meet, or as it pertains to your business….your organization is just barely hanging on, you are surviving the economic storm; the result is then you put yourself in a place of struggling. If you tell yourself you are only surviving, then well, you are. Your stuck. You fasten the bolts and hunker down, you dig your heels in and ‘get through it’. If this describes you, let me ask you this… how’s that working for you?

My bet is you are not getting ahead, your treading water… you are… well….just surviving. And so you should. That is what you believe, and that is what you decided.

But have you ever noticed how you are in that place, and others around you prosper during that same economic storm? Are others in your company growing faster than you can imagine? Do you rack your brain wondering what ‘magic’ sizzle call is that they are using? They are not surviving, they are thriving. How? And doesn’t that really tick you off?!?!

Well, just like you believe you are a survivor, they believe they are thriving. They truly believe that their business is booming. 2008 is really their best year yet! They believe it, they say that; they know that. They decided and made a choice to lose the powerless feeling of being a survivor and took control, they embodied the knowledge that can shift their thinking, their beliefs and their actions to move forward. They don’t dig their heels in, they keep them moving. As far as economics go, sure the economy may be going through some cycle, but a thriver is wise enough to make some decisions to thrive in spite of it. Not whine about it. Thrivers are the people whose business flourishes.

Now, if you are sick and tired of being a victim of some circumstance, fed up with watching others grow around you, if you done with being a survivor, then just don’t survive; start thriving. The good news you can change it for yourself. You have the power to shift and build your belief. Take small steps, and write the words “Don’t survive; choose to thrive!” on post it notes. Stick them all over the place. I have them in my car, on my computer, etc. When you have the urge to complain, or think the world is at it’s end, look at this note and stop the thought. Be grateful for the business you have, the home you live, the clothes on your back and the fuel in your car. Then slowly your outlook will change. Continue to fill yourself with positive messages, stop watching the news, reading the paper, or believing the world is really a horrible place. Believe your business will grow, prosper and that you are NOT a victim. Believe in your faith, believe in yourself, believe in your core that you are moving forward in prosperity… and guess what…. You will!

Expect it. Live it. Believe it.